


You Can't Hide From Who You Are

by jacquelee



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, Gen, Song Inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 01:50:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19052821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacquelee/pseuds/jacquelee
Summary: Sara in Mallus' realm has to face her past.Set during 3x15.





	You Can't Hide From Who You Are

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Superhero_land](https://superhero-land.livejournal.com/) for the prompt When The Truth Hunts You Down by Sam Tinnesz. I'd recommend listening to it or reading the lyrics, since I'm not putting them in the fic because I can't decide which ones, the whole song is perfect for Sara, especially in the situation depicted in the fic.

Everything was confusing at first, as if she was in a dream. At some point she realized that she was in Mallus' realm by the way everything seemed discolored, blue, and any sounds were muffled, quiet.

But then Amaya's pleading voice seemed to pierce the veil and Sara realized it was her she was pleading with. Or not her, but Mallus in her body. 

What had happened? She only vaguely remembered putting on the death totem and then everything went black. Or more accurately, blue. Amaya still pleaded, now in pain and it was too much for Sara. She screamed, holding her hands over her ears, falling onto her knees.

Some time passed with just confusion, nothing substantial reaching her. Until she heard Zari's voice, also pleading, begging her to stop hurting her. And she tried. She tried so so hard, and for a second, she felt like she actually did. Like she actually pierced the veil and got control over her body back. 

But then there was another voice. A voice she had heard before, a voice full of hatred, distracting. A voice that reminded her of what she had done, who she truly was. 

And she realized that here, in Mallus' realm, trapped in her own head, she couldn't escape from who she was any longer. She couldn't run from it, couldn't hide from what she had done. There was no safe place for her.

Sure enough, the images she had been dreading, she had been dreaming about, took form right before her eyes, like a scene right out of one of her nightmares. 

She tried to look away but her eyes were glued to what was unfolding in front of her. Herself. The one from before, the one she tried so hard to forget, to distance herself from. The one who still made her wake up in cold sweat thinking about the things she had done. 

Cold. Unfeeling. Or so it seemed. She knew better. She knew that even that version of her had feelings, buried deep, hoping nobody would ever find out. But they were there and they were already eating away at her more and more.

When the scene finally came to an end, she wiped the tears she hadn't been aware of from her face, trying her best to ignore the mocking voice telling her that it made no sense to cry, to feel regret. 

But she did and she knew if she stopped, that was when she truly would fall into the darkness, when she would truly be lost. 

And she would not let that happen.

Not today. Not ever.


End file.
